I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Randomize
