It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
smell my finger.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
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