I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Randomize