Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
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