And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Randomize
