my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
