he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
Randomize