It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize