do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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