Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
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