That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize
