is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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