i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
