You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Randomize