i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
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