never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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