you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
this is an emotional support booty call
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
