Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
