Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
