Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
