The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
