I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
