What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
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