Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
