Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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