Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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