took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Randomize
