just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
Randomize
