my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
Randomize