Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
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