I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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