My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
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