Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
Randomize
