weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Randomize
