Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Randomize
