i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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