what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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