Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Randomize
