i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
