I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize
