Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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