hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
