So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
Randomize
