Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
