Christians are straight up FREAKS
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Randomize
