So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
