On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
Randomize
