I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Randomize
