Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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