No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
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