Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
Randomize
