i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
