i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
I showed him my bush... on skype.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Randomize