maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
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