Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
