dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
