Nicole vs. Life
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
