your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
