imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
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