She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Randomize
