Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
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