Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
