ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Randomize
