Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
Someone came in the potted fern
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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