I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
