You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
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